When bears fight, they usually keep on until there is a winner and a loser. If you are a human being watching, it is sometimes hard to tell who is ahead. Bear fighting is similar to wrestling, and most of us don't understand the point system. The bears do. The loser knows he is loosing, and the winner knows he is winning. And when the winner wins, he declares it in a very strange way. He turns his back to the loser bear and calmly walks away from the field of battle. To us, this can look like he was the defeated bear and is admitting it by retreating. Actually it is a show of strength and quiet confidence.
Steve Jobs showed up the other day from his medical leave to announce the newest Apple iPad. He was dressed, as always, in blue jeans and a black long sleeved tee shirt. Why not an expensive tailored suit and colorful power tie? Because if you are Steve Jobs and the head of Apple Computer you don't need the corporate uniform to impress. Others do, but you don't. Your strength has no need to flaunt itself. Understatement is the more powerful statement.
The United States spends more money on its military that all the other nations of the world combined. We have killing power beyond comprehension. And yet our mentality is one of fear and insecurity. If money is short we will go without teachers for our children but not soldiers for our armies. We spend vast sums inventing and building weapons to fight enemies that do not even exist, just because someone fears they might exist someday and we need to be ready for them. The "home of the brave" has become the home of the fearful. We possess the might of powerful bears, but not the mentality. We are too fearful to turn our backs, even to the weakest of threats.
Jesus apparently had thoughts along these lines. As reported in the Gospel of Matthew, he said: Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. (Matthew 5: 38-41 KJV)
This appears to be saying that striking back is a sign of weakness, not of strength. The strong can turn the other cheek and calmly walk away.
I have known some very smart and accomplished men and women. People who are indisputably head and shoulders above the rest of us. But I have noticed that these people fall into two categories.
Some of them, despite their accomplishments and abilities, are still fighting to prove themselves. In a group, they must do all the talking as if in competition. Their subordinates know to keep their mouths shut, even when they might add something of value, because this could be undermining. They could pay dearly for such an affront. You look at these people and wonder how, with so much proved already, they feel bound every day to prove more. How, with so much to be secure about, they are obviously so insecure and needy.
But others in this extraordinary category are just the opposite. In a group, or in any conversation, they can actually listen to others. They assume that they can learn from others, and want to do so.
One of them, I knew once, assumed he could learn something from any person he ever met. This included working people, social misfits, extremists, bigots, and even children. He was curious about any life and anyone's opinion on any subject. He soaked up knowledge and insight from any source. He did not need to talk all the time, but when he did speak, people listened with great respect.